Collagen In The Kitchen

If you took a photo of just lips of: me, Pamela Anderson, and Big Ang, well, you probably wouldn’t know whose was whose.

I became a member of the collagen lip cult last night…all over…would you believe this?…PEPPERS.

My thirsty thursday ambitions have changed from finding the cheapest happy hour for wine to finding the best deal on organic produce.

I don’t have any qualms regarding those changes, as my body needs the proper “real life adult” fuel as opposed to party fuel back in those days.

Explanations aside, as I traveled over to the peppers section, I noticed a HUGE sign for sweet peppers. I hadn’t had them since summer, so I figured why not grab two handfuls and go nuts? (pepper party!)

I’ll have you know that upon arriving home I went into a cooking frenzy. I’ve been sautéing tons of different veggies lately and last night was no different…until the peppers.

I began cutting into these small, non-threatening looking nutritious creatures and to make sure they were sweet my first reaction was to bring it up to my lips and taste.

Not soon after, I looked like I had been at the hands of a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon! It felt like a mixture of ice pellets and a 3rd degree sunburn all at once. My sauté ended up burning. I dropped two cups of water on the floor. I couldn’t find relief fast enough.

A family member rushed in upon hearing the ruckus and quickly offered me a cup of milk. Being that I dislike regular milk nowadays, I pushed it away. And so the plumpness continued…

I finally calmed the calamity by placing ice chips and gargling with water for a half an hour straight.

What is the moral of the story?

Know your peppers. Don’t trust the produce signs! Have someone else be your victim! (unless you want a lip filler and booster all in one!)

Capsacin, we are officially in the hate part of your relationship. Blame your spicy attitude!

PS- this morning my lips are still feeling the effects. The tingling and twitching makes me feel like I had actual collagen implants!

Collagen for breakfast anyone? This was the only angle where they didn't look like I got in the ring with a kangaroo.

Now to take them for a test drive…out in public! (Kris Jenner is so jealous of this one now!)

Think anyone will notice? EEK!!!!

Have you ever had a bad experience with a food?

Peace, love, and never again!

~C.C.D.

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4 Responses to Collagen In The Kitchen

  1. OUCH!!! I’m glad that I’m not big on peppers! 🙁

    • choc3178 says:

      it just returned to normal around yesterday. I was like wow, I could actually pretend I was a badass and tell people if they asked that I was in a fight and this was my consolation prize. lol, so ridiculous.

  2. Melissa Love says:

    Oh no – that stinks! I have that with guac from stores sometimes – give it time – it will go down!! Feel better babe!

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